‘Whatever you do,’ he ordered, ‘don’t stop, not even for a moment.’

‘Yeah, yeah … I know.’ I responded.

‘Not even for a second! If you pause, you are lost.’

I was only half-listening to him. I was more concentrated on the strangely comforting jigging of my leg beneath the table, and on the plans in my head. I was aching to go.

‘Idiot! I am serious! Listen!’ he emphasised, grabbing me by the shoulder and squeezing my neck like Dr. Spock until I turned and looked at him. He used to always do that when we were kids. He transfixed me with his eyes, pinning me in my chair, until I pretended to come to my senses. I gulped nervously like I knew he wanted me to, and then stuttered in assent. He was relieved.

‘Good. Good man. You know we’re all behind you, don’t you?’

I nodded again, eagerly. I knew he wasn’t even that comfortable with this, so I wanted to make it easier on him.

‘I know it’s hard. But think of our mother …’ he reasoned.

‘Okay, Okay. I know exactly what to do. Seriously, there’ll be no fucking around. I promise you. I’ve done enough of that lately, haven’t I?’

He stroked his extensive beard, and I took this as assent.

Indeed, I had fucked around quite a lot. In fact, that was the only reason I was here with my brother, who I hadn’t talked to in over a year and who I considered to be one of the most simultaneously detestable and pitiable characters I had ever met. Him and his sagely tugging of the beard. If his big friends told him that picking hairs from your anus was sagely and devout, he’d do that. Still, it was those same big friends that were going to help me out of the tight spot I was in.

It was really the incident of the whore’s shoes that brought all this about, although there had been other things: the gambling debts, the parking tickets, the bootleg alcohol.

You see, I had always been friendly with the whores of the Blue Baths ever since I ran errands for them as a teenager. Then I got big, one of them made a man of me, and I began to hang around there quite a lot, as a non-paying guest, you understand. I learned a lot in those long, lingering days without a touch of cloud or responsibility, in the break between the wars … Ah yes, the shoes …